Derek Hough Shares the Mantra That Helped Him and Wife Hayley Erbert Navigate Her Health Scare (Exclusive).Linh

The ‘Dancing with the Stars’ judge tells PEOPLE in 10 how he and Erbert got through her healing process after her emergency craniectomy in December 2023

Derek Hough and wife Hayley Erbert approached life differently after her emergency craniectomy.

In a new conversation with PEOPLE in 10, the Dancing with the Stars judge, 39, explains how he and Erbert, 29, were able to mutually heal after she underwent emergency surgery in December 2023 after being hospitalized with a cranial hematoma.

Hough confesses that “it’s really hard” to watch a loved one heal, but he approached it with one specific mantra and practice, revealing how they were “really trying to stay in the moment, staying present.”

“That’s so much easier said than done, and it just sounds like such a phrase,” he says, noting that “it’s one of the things that [he] really learned from Hayley during that time” and it’s something “that she helped [him] with.”

“Honestly, she was just in the moment, you know, she wasn’t focusing on, like, what’s gonna happen, what’s the future,” he explains. “It was just about, ‘What can I do right now that’s going to help them, or even help myself,’ and just staying present.”

Hough remarks that while watching someone heal, there’s “the worry and the fear comes from worrying about what’s what’s to come, what’s going to happen.”

“That’s where a lot of the fear happens,” he continues. “So I think that staying sort of in the moment, which is not easy to do.”

The professional dancer also shares some other helpful tips he learned to get through difficult situations, including “listen to things that are going to help you, get you in the right state of mind to put yourself in the right state that’s going to help that person heal, help you heal.”

Last year, on Dec. 7, 2023, Hough revealed on Instagram that Erbert had been rushed to the hospital after experiencing symptoms of a cranial hematoma — when blood collects in the skull — while on their Symphony of Dance tour.

A week later, he posted another update saying his wife needed a skull implant to “replace the piece [of the skull] that was removed during the craniectomy.”

After Erbert’s surgery, the couple shared an emotional video on Instagram following the surgery in which they discussed Erbert’s “miraculous” recovery and thanked everyone who sent words of support amid her recuperation.

Since recovering from her surgery, Erbert and Hough celebrated their first wedding anniversary, sharing a joint Instagram on Monday, Aug. 26. More recently, on Wednesday, Sept. 25, Hough told E! News that he and Erbert “definitely want to have a family eventually.”

“We’ll see what’s in the cards, what’s on the horizon. Little dancing children running around,” he said.

“She’s a miracle,” the proud husband added of Erbert. “She really is, and I don’t say that lightly.”